Randy on Marriage

We had the privilege of hearing Pastor Randy speak to us this morning about marriage.  For those of you that missed it, or just would like a refresher, here are some notes:

Col 3:12
Two things are true about each woman in MOPS:
       1.  You are exquisitely loved by God.  You are so valued, that He gave up His Son for you.
       2.  Some of you are discouraged or in pain.  We must be careful, for our pain will drive us from God.

Imagine that our emotions fill up a bucket.  But wait, that bucket has holes in it.  Our emotions are seeping out of this bucket and we can quickly be on empty if we're not careful.  The three most common things that create gaping holes in our bucket are:  Money, Stress and Fatigue.
We must spend more time filling up our bucket, so that everything doesn't spill out and leave us empty.  We can do this by having encouraging friends and fellowship (like MOPS), but mostly by having daily devotionals and time with God.

We are unable to fill up our bucket on our own.  

Phil 3:3
Back in the day, the #1 commodity for families was money.  Men and women would take better jobs, even if it meant time away from their families, to make more money.  They figured that making more money would help sustain their family and thus keep everyone happy.  However, people began realizing that there is something more important than money... time.  So, people began turning down the high paying jobs, so that they would have more time for their families every day.  Now, we are realizing that perhaps the #1 commodity isn't money OR time, but rather Energy.  You can't do anything with time or money if you're too tired.
What if spiritual energy became physical energy?  What if God filled our bucket up spiritually, and we were better for it all around?

Marriage is a covenant created by God.  A covenant is an exchange of behavior.  It means 3 things:
1. This deal is permanent
2. The other partner comes first
3. The #1 goal is to glorify God

Are you frustrated by having to perform your husband's roll?  Do you feel like you're pulling him up a hill?  Do you feel like you are the head of your house?
At the same time- Are you so frustrated by your husband's actions (or lack of action), that you are neglecting your OWN spiritual growth?

Heb 10:22
The closer you get to God, the cleaner you will be.
Pray with your husband out loud and confess to one another and God.

1 John 2:28
The closer you get to God, the more confident you will be.

Psalms 25:14
The closer you get to God, the more you are aware of your relationship with Him and with your husband.
The World will try to destroy your covenant with your husband and with the Lord.

Num 25
Immorality will always lead to idolatry.
Do not allow your life or bucket to get so empty, that your children have to clean up your messes.

Isaiah 42:4
Disappointment and pain will lead you to spiritual growth.

Imagine a straight line.  You are on one end, and God wants you to be on the other end.  He wants you to simply walk the line to get from where you are, to where He wants you to be.  It is painful and scary for you to go from one end to the other... especially if your husband is not leading.  So, instead of walking that straight line from "here" to "there", we decide to take our own course.  We take the following steps to eventually get "there":
1. Denial-  "God, I do enough already... I tithe, I go to Sunday School, I work in the nursery... isn't that enough?"
2.  Resistance-  You offer options to God.  I'll do this instead of that.  "Instead of doing what you want me to do, I'll just tithe an extra 5%".  Because that is easier to do than what He's asking you to do.  Because that'll keep you cozy in "here" and you wont have to go "there".  But if you stay "here", then nothing changes.  You do not grow, and everyone suffers.
3.  Exploration-  You begin to consider "there".  Your heart and mind become opened to the idea that maybe this might be good.
4.  Acceptance-  Finally!  You realize God was right to begin with and "there" is better than "here" every was or could be.

In marriage, when your husband says you have to go from "here" to "there", if it's from God, you MUST come to acceptance.  He was called by God to be the head of your house.

Some questions to think about:
-  In your marriage, do you notice a pattern or cycle that brings you down?
-  Which do you desire more:  God or His blessings?
-  Can you live apart from God's grace?